For what it's Worth.

12/17/23

For what it’s worth, maybe it just wasn't for me.

Or maybe, it was. 

Maybe it was, and now it isn't. It saved me, and then destroyed me.

The only thing keeping me up and standing was really just shame. 

And without it, where would I be?

I would be in the depth of my own despair.

A blessing is disguise, but also a shake to my psyche.

So now I sugar coat it myself, like the bulk candy getting weighed on the scale. 

Acting like the scale itself didn’t drive me quite literally to the edge.

And the candy didn’t create a barrier between my thoughts and my feelings. 

Looking into innocent brown eyes, to tell them they are enough.

But why do I look into my own eyes, and not say the same thing? 

Telling their 3’ 4’’ bodies to breathe, because apparently it's better to be lifeless than full of it.  

But isn't it supposed to bring people to life? 

They do it for fun, I did it for something I still have to find. 

They do it to feel light, I left it so I didn’t feel so heavy. 

How on this earth can I convince them they are enough.

When no matter how hard you try,

You just can’t please everyone. 

But then again, isn't that life… anyways?

For what it’s worth, at least they don’t have to “please” me.

Because I already love them.

They are learning, and so am I. 

For what it’s worth, maybe in another lifetime,

Things will be different,

And people will change for the better.